Regret. The untested version always wins.
Regret is a window into a past you've never experienced, and every year the view gets clearer.
THE GIST ON REGRET: "Regret"
Why does the thing you never tried feel so good?
Everything you actually do has disappointment somewhere in it. The job you took turned out to have a bad boss and a crap commute.
But the one you turned down never turned out to be anything. It has no disappointment in it. It's made of what you wanted, because that's all you ever put into it.
Why does failure fade but the road not taken doesn't?
Failure gives you something to be disappointed by, and disappointment pushes you on to do better. The thing you never tried has never disappointed you.
So every year you're older and more tired, it's exactly as good as the day you first wanted it. It has a name, maybe a face, a city, even a year. And it ambushes you at one in the morning, when you're at your most vulnerable.
Why does it hurt more at 40 than at 25?
Because you're mourning something that was never tested, so it can never let you down. Every ordinary year you live, the version that didn't happen gets a little brighter by comparison.
Trying and potentially failing can cost you years. The thing you never tried charges you for the rest of your life, and the interest will torture you.
What is the choice?
It anchors you to a past you've never had. So here's the choice: a wound that heals, or the question that doesn't. Go and find out.
Which hurts more: trying and failing, or never trying?
Your take. One tap, then see how everyone else voted.
Quick answers
Why does failure fade but regret doesn't?
Failure gives you something to be disappointed by, which pushes you on. The thing you never tried has never disappointed you, so it keeps getting brighter.
Why does regret hurt more at 40 than at 25?
Every ordinary year you live, the version that didn't happen looks a little brighter by comparison, and the cost of the thing you never tried keeps compounding.
What is the choice Huw describes?
A wound that heals, or the question that doesn't. Go and find out.
See you on the next one.
What should the next one be? Suggest a topic for Huw to explain
The conversation
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